…ONE DAY, AT 4:36PM…

[Response to: One day while gazing at moonbushes…]


From time to time I find my thoughts drifting to that moment in the waiting room where I sparked a conversation with a peculiar man in a plaid shirt.

His name was Steve and he flew crop dusting planes for a living. Steve was an admirer of fonts on sex cam websites. Once upon a time Steve was in college and working on his thesis based strictly on how fonts on pornographic websites were specifically designed to arouse men, and if the font was extraordinarily successful could lead to the spending of 2-4 cents per character.

I found this amusing due to my interest in subliminal advertising, although I truly though that Steve was a madman. I wondered if my attraction to Steve was increased due to his insanity, it certainly made him a more compelling individual.

Steve was one of those men that would share the meaning of life with you because you decided to give him the time of day. That day, I gave that time. You have to wonder if Steve self recognizes this quality, perhaps he knew that I needed someone to show me the path that day.

Steve, “There is a cornfield in Martinsdale, Montana. Inside the field you will find a single Ponderosa Pine Tree. Place your ear to the side of the tree, take a deep breath, and the Pine Tree will take a breath in response. As you exhale the Ponderosa will share a secret with you.”

I wanted to ask Steve what the Ponderosa has told him, yet at that exact moment Steve was called into the Otolaryngologist office. Steve peered over me while rising from his seat. At that moment he saw right through me. He read my mind.

Steve came up and whispered in my ear, “If “Big Ass” is at 36 fonts it increases the chance that a teenage male will spend money on a pornographic website by 38X”

That was the last time I saw Steve.


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